7 Things It's OK to Keep Secret in a Relationship

7 Things It’s OK to Keep Secret in a Relationship

In the grand scheme of things, it’s a bad idea to keep major secrets from your partner. “While on the surface they may seem innocent enough, in the long run, keeping secrets in order to avoid confrontation, conflict, manipulation, or in some cases, potential divorce, wreaks havoc on the health and well-being of any relationship,” relationship expert Julie Orlov writes on eHarmony.com. “And while these little white lies or omissions may appear to work in keeping the peace in the short run, in the long run, both people lose. … Keeping secrets indicates that there is a lack of trust, authenticity, and real intimacy in the relationship.”

The keyword here is major. Yes, maintaining a happy relationship means sharing your deepest fears, dreams, and struggles. It also means being honest about finances, your job situation, and, of course, your fidelity. But you shouldn’t share everything with your partner. It’s perfectly OK to keep some things to yourself to maintain a little mystery, an element that’s key to a relationship and can even help you lead a more exciting sex life. We won’t give you the side eye if you keep any of these little secrets from your partner.

1. You made a teeny-tiny little splurge

If your $500 shoes didn’t affect your partner’s finances in any way, hey, it’s your money.

2. You have an atrocious reality TV habit

We all have guilty pleasures. If your partner prefers serious documentaries, you can watch them together — and enjoy killing your brain cells all by yourself.

3. You have a secret Pinterest board where you’re planning your non-existent wedding

I mean, duh.

4. You still stalk your ex on social media

Not the healthiest activity, but it’s perfectly OK not to admit a little light stalking to your S.O.

5. You stalk their ex on social media

You should definitely stop, but you have no obligation to tell anyone.

6. You don’t like a family member or friend of theirs

There’s no way to win here, so just keep your mouth shut.

7. A cute guy/girl chatted you up at the bar

As long as you didn’t give them your number (or make out with them), you’re fine.

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