5 Ways to make/have a friend with benefits
How do you have a friend with benefits?
Some people arrange it, without any lead up in mind. Some people just kind of fall into it. It’s important, if this is what you want, you don’t mislead anyone or get involved with someone who agrees verbally to your plan but you know secretly wants more. Fwb tend to end the same way, one person eventually wants more.friend with benefits
A lot of people try to turn a friendship into a fwb situation, but I’ve always found its been a more natural transition for me to turn a hook up into a friend too.
One of my best friends on this planet started out as a hook up because we were both physically attracted to each other. Not long after we met and hooked up we soon realized we liked spending time with each other just hanging out too. But neither of us wanted the commitment of a relationship at the the time. As we became great friends, and navigated around ever being an officail couple, we discovered that we were very much alike. That helped keep us together as friends and kept us from trying to ever be more. Being too much a like in certain ways is a bad combo for dating.
Weve been good friends for a decade now, and we’ve gone back and forth expanding that friendship to include a sexual component. Sometimes we dated other people and acted just as friends, and other times we took breaks from dating anyone seriously and got together instead. We had our problems and arguements, and both of us even entertained the idea becoming something more at different times, but our friendship kept strong.
This was the fwb that workout best for me, and I think a big part of that was the arrangement was something that was always an understanding to us, and not something brought in later. We had rules about it as well, even though I can’t say for certain we ever spoke them out loud, but it kept us from getting hurt feelings or putting each other in an awkward situation.
One of our rules was that we never slept with each other when we were sleeping with someone else. That could be as simple as hooking up one day, and the next agreeing to go on a date with someone new, thus not hooking up anymore for a while. With our track records, those gaps usually didn’t last long.
Find the right person and keep the right mindset and things can workout. We still hangout to this day, though we’ve moved long past the benefits aspect of the relationship.
If you get in and realize it doesn’t work for you, do fret over it as this sort of thing isn’t for everyone. It sounds great from the outside, but a lot of people can’t get a handle on their emotions and egos.